daftlypunk:

i hit my coworkers shoulder lightly and he was like “you’re going to make me cry like a girl” and i was like “what’s wrong with being a girl?” and he was quiet for a moment then he looked into the distance and whispered “the social standards they’re forced to live by”

(Source: yovahkiin, via seulil)

deathbymorning:

eggsnogging:

in my senior drama class i had to play gordon ramsay for a film project but we could only film in school so we had to try to find a closed off room to use. the thing is the room wasn’t exactly soundproof and apparently someone heard us and that’s the story of how the vice principal and four freshmen walked in on me wearing a chef’s hat and yelling at my friend because her squid was so raw i could still hear it telling spongebob to fuck off

did you get an A

(Source: xylemphone, via seulil)

motherfuckingdragonsyo:

I made an old lady blush today at work because she ordered two senior coffees and I said “SENIOR ? I’m sorry miss, i’m going to have to ask to see some ID.” and she covered her mouth and went “Oh dear me” and couldn’t stop smiling

(via seulil)

humansofnewyork:

We were eating lunch with the door open, and a monkey started to peek through the door.’Isn’t that cute?’ we thought. 'Hello monkey,' we said. Then the situation quickly deteriorated. 


(Dharamshala, India)

humansofnewyork:

We were eating lunch with the door open, and a monkey started to peek through the door.’Isn’t that cute?’ we thought. 
'Hello monkey,' we said. 
Then the situation quickly deteriorated. 

(Dharamshala, India)